Matchmakers
by Sofia Merriweather
Summary: "So what do we do now?" Havoc asked. "Well, the logical thing would be to try to get them together," Falman said. "How the hell is that logical? They'd kill us!" Breda said. A more realistic end to the matchmaker scenario.


I have a lot of ideas floating around and a lot of 500 word documents on my computer. We'll see what happens.

* * *

It was typical Monday morning.

Well, it was a typical Monday morning except for one thing.

Riza Hawkeye was late.

Fuery had come to the office early, as usual, eager to mess around with the soundboards. Falman had walked in right on time, hanging his hat on the rack precisely at seven. Breda had rushed in at seven thirty, and Havoc had burst in seconds later, expecting to see a stern female face glaring at him from across the room.

But there was no one there. Havoc and Breda relaxed, sauntering to their chairs. Havoc glanced at Falman.

"So the Colonel and the First Lieutenant aren't here yet?"

Falman shook his head, and Havoc grinned.

"This is turning out to be a wonderful Monday."

Of course, as soon as the words left Havoc's mouth, Colonel Mustang dashed into the room, looking not unlike Havoc and Breda minutes earlier. He nervously looked in Hawkeye's direction, but she was not at her desk. Breda and Falman didn't miss the worry that flitted across Mustang's face.

"Where is the Lieutenant?" he asked. "Out getting paperwork?"

Breda was smiling, just a little. "We don't know; she hasn't come in yet. Worried, Colonel?"

Mustang shook himself a little, then glared at Breda.

"I worry about all my subordinates. I especially worry for you if Lieutenant Hawkeye shows up and you haven't started your paperwork."

"Point taken."

Mustang stalked into his office and closed the door a little more violently than necessary.

After exchanging a few amused glances, Mustang's subordinates started on their work, settling into the routine. Soon enough, Hawkeye came barreling through the door, her blonde hair in a sloppier up do than usual and eyes sagging with fatigue.

At the sound of the ruckus, Mustang poked his head through the door.

"Oh, Lieutenant!" His face relaxed, then his eyebrows drew together. "You look terrible!"

Hawkeye shot him a pointed look and the rest of the staff snickered.

"Thank you, sir," Hawkeye said.

Mustang turned red and started trying to backpedal. Hawkeye held up a hand.

"Spare me the explanation, sir; I've had a long night."

"What happened?"

"Black Hayate ran away-"

"Is he alright?" Fuery cried, standing up.

"- or so I thought," Hawkeye finished. "I searched all around the city for him only to find him hiding under my bed at four in the morning."

Havoc and Breda started cackling, and Fuery sat back down, mollified. Hawkeye glared at the laughing men, which only caused them to laugh harder. Seeing her actions had no effect, she rolled her eyes and sat down.

"Good enough for you, sir?"

Roy's face had faded back to its pale ivory, returning some of his dignity. "Yes, Lieutenant. You don't take enough vacation time as it is, so you may leave early today if you wish. Carry on."

And Falman saw the Lieutenant's eyes soften a bit at the man's retreating form.

_Interesting._

* * *

"Ok, so did anyone else notice how worried the Colonel was about the Lieutenant this morning?"

Breda was leaning over the lunch table and whispering so as to not draw the Hawk's Eye (or ears) to their conversation.

"Not only that, but the Lieutenant looked happier after the Colonel talked to her," Falman added.

"And since when does he offer us breaks? None of us take vacation time." Havoc grumbled.

"You guys haven't figured it out yet?" Fuery asked, wide eyed.

"Figured out what?"

"That the Colonel and the Lieutenant, y'know. Love each other."

Breda choked on his sandwich and Havoc clapped him on the back. Breda shot a thankful glance in Havoc's direction and wiped his mouth.

"What?"

Falman had scrunched his eyebrows together. "There isn't any concrete evidence for that, Fuery. May I ask why you believe this?"

"Oh, come on, guys. It's _obvious._" He considered the second part of Falman's speech. "I don't really know why, exactly. It's just a weird feeling that permeates any room where they both are," he said, wiggling his fingers in the air.

The whole team stared at him.

"Well, I guess it makes sense Fuery would figure this out first," Breda mused. "Falman and I are too analytical; I suppose we need more evidence before we can convince ourselves something's true, so we ignored the little clues. And Havoc… well, we know how well Havoc does in the romance department." Breda winked at a scowling Havoc.

"So what do we do now?" Havoc asked.

"Well, the logical thing would be to try to get them together," Falman said.

"How the hell is that logical? They'd kill us!" Breda said a little too loudly. Hawkeye's eyes flickered over at him from where she was chatting with Mustang and Hughes. Breda leaned back and waved at Hawkeye, feigning casualness. She raised an eyebrow but turned back to Mustang and Hughes.

Falman picked up the thread of the conversation.

"It _is _logical," he told the team. "Remember how worried the Colonel was when Hawkeye wasn't here on time? It was driving him to distraction- he didn't even care that we hadn't started our work until Breda teased him."

"He _was_ worried," Havoc added. "I mean, you could see it on his face, and if the Colonel's good at one thing, it's hiding his emotions."

"Exactly. So think about how distracted he would be if they were together. Distracted in a positive way, of course, but distracted nonetheless."

Havoc's eyes lit up and he laughed, giddy. "And just think about the Lieutenant- she'd be so happy she wouldn't even remember to check up on us! Especially if-" Breda clapped his hands over Fuery's ears as Havoc gestured wildly. Falman's jaw hung open with shock and even Breda looked a bit green. Normally, Fuery resented this sort of treatment. Just because he was young didn't mean he was _that_ innocent! But seeing Havoc's gestures and trying desperately not to guess what they meant, Fuery was glad of Breda's concern.

Finally Havoc finished, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile. More than a few tables were looking at him; luckily, Hawkeye, Mustang, and Hughes were too engrossed in a discussion about Scar to notice.

Breda gagged. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I never, ever, want to think about my superior officers doing that."

Fuery bit his lip. "But they'd be happy."

Understanding passed through all the men at the table. Mustang and Hawkeye saw too little hope, too little joy.

Breda sighed heavily. "So, how are we going to start?"

* * *

OPERATION DISTRACT SUPERIOR OFFICERS WITH LOVE: PHASE ONE- ENLIST THE HELP OF THE ELRICS

"Ok, men, we need to proceed carefully. You understand the importance of this phase, correct?"

Breda, Falman, and Fuery must have been slow to nod, because Havoc heaved a sigh.

"These are the Elrics we're talking about. Al is firstly, a giant suit of armor. Who knows what uses we could have for him in this plan? And even more importantly, he's even more sensitive than Fuery. Endless possibilities, men." Havoc spread his arms wide and Fuery repressed giggles at his widened eyes.

"Oh, and of course there's Ed. Edward Elric can do anything. ANYTHING." Now there were chuckles from all parties at Havoc's earnest praise of the Elrics. "What?" Havoc asked, hurt.

Breda stepped up and took over as Havoc continued to ask what was so funny. "So we need to emphasize the Colonel and Lieutenant's happiness to Al. For Ed, we need to emphasize the Lieutenant's happiness and how much work he'll be able to get away with not doing. Got it?"

This time every head nodded, and Breda smiled. "Then let Phase 1 commence."

* * *

Al was dubious.

"Are you sure that this is what they want?"

"Of course! Have you been in a room with the two of them at once? The sexual tension-" Brdea elbowed him in the ribs, "- I mean, the _love_ is so obvious!"

"And this will distract that bastard Colonel?" Ed asked, doubtful.

"If I was dating someone as pretty as Hawkeye, I'd be distracted too." Breda elbowed Havoc again.

"But- won't it just make him happy?" Ed wrinkled his nose.

"Happy- and distracted," Breda said. "That's the key."

Ed and Al looked at each other for a moment, no dobut communicating silently. Then, they turned to face the soldiers.

"We'll do it!"

* * *

OPERATION DISTRACT SURPERIOR OFFICERS WITH LOVE: PHASE TWO- HINTS

"Hey, boss, I have some paperwork for you to sign," Havoc said, barging into Mustang's office.

"What, is Hawkeye on a coffee run or something? Let me see it," Mustang said absentmindedly.

"Hawkeye tells us that she normally delivers your paperwork so she can check on you. She's worried about you, sir." Havoc smiled innocently, aware that though that very well might be the truth, he had never heard it from Hawkeye.

Mustang looked up quickly, getting an ink blot on the paper. He felt the wetness on his hand and looked down at the ruined document. _Damn it._

"_Second _Lieutenant Havoc-" ooh, must be bad, he's mentioning rank- "please keep your information about _First _Lieutenant Hawkeye's motivations to yourself. Dismissed."

Havoc knew when to make an exit. He retreated.

* * *

Al was on lookout duty. Ed was off who knows where, the library probably, and he'd been recruited.

It was… atypical. Instead of alerting the men of when Hawkeye was coming so they would _stop_ talking, he was to notify them so they could _start._

As soon as he glimpsed blonde bangs, Al thrust one of his hands into the doorway where the men could see it. Immediately the conversation (loudly) started.

"Did you see the Colonel yesterday morning? He was so worried."

"Yeah, I think he thought something happened to Hawkeye."

"He shouldn't have worried. The Lieutenant is an extremely capable woman." Everyone glared at Falman for that, thinking he was trying to suck up, even though it did suit their purposes.

"Maybe he's worried about her because he's in loooooove with her," Breda said, snorting.

It was then that there was a delicate cough from the doorway.

All faces turned to Hawkeye as if she was the Grim Reaper (which could very well have been true, in this case) and there was a collective gulp.

"I suggest you abstain from gossiping about your superior officers' love lives."

There was a beat of utter silence, then, "Yes, sir!"

The only noise after that was the scratching of pens.

* * *

PLANNING: PHASE TWOB

"Did you see that? Her hand- her right hand was shaking! _Snipers' hands don't shake._"

"Calm down, Fuery," Havoc said. "We lived, didn't we? Toast to that!"

After that scare, the men had wordlessly yet unanimously decided to go to a bar after work, to plan and to try to forget the terror of the afternoon.

Breda burped. "Are we all still in? Even you two?" he asked, looking at Ed and Al.

Ed scowled harder at the glass of milk in front of him ("It was a joke!" Havoc said as Ed tried to kill him with his own drink).

"Yeah, whatever."

"Al?"

"But Lieutenant Hawkeye seemed pretty mad! Are you sure she's going to appreciate this?"

"Oh, she will, kid," Breda said. "She will in the end. Ever heard of tough love? Besides, what do we have to lose?"

"Besides our lives?" Havoc grumbled.

Breda found fault with this quip. Havoc's ribs were going to hurt tomorrow.

"So what _is _the next phase, pray tell?" asked Falman.

"Ohhhh," said Havoc. "This. This is the fun one."

* * *

OPERATION DISTRACT SUPERIOR OFFICERS WITH LOVE: PHASE THREE- JEALOUSY

"Hey, do you want me to take these papers in to the Colonel? I'm going in there anyway," Havoc said, smiling what he would like to call a debonair smile.

Hawkeye looked up in surprise.

"Yes, that would be helpful. Thank you, Havoc."

"Not a problem," he said, and swept away, paperwork in hand.

"This paperwork is from Hawkeye," he said a moment later, dumping it unceremoniously on Mustang's desk. "Speaking of Hawkeye, doesn't she look lovely today?"

"Are you trying to quit smoking, Lieutenant Havoc? You've been acting rather strange lately," Mustang said, cool.

"No, sir. I just have never noticed how beautiful Lieutenant Hawkeye is before! It's like my eyes have been opened."

Mustang was turning a peculiar shade of red.

"Do you think she would say yes if I asked her to dinner?"

Mustang stood.

"Lieutenant Havoc, I would like to remind you that there is a strict anti-fraternization policy in the Amestrian Military. I would also like to remind you to please not make me, your _superior officer_, privy to your romantic whims. If you'll excuse me."

Mustang tore through the office. Hawkeye followed him with her eyes, but didn't move.

Havoc strolled back into the main room casual as can be. He winked at Breda.

"SO," Breda said. "WHAT WAS THE COLONEL SO ANGRY ABOUT?"

Fuery discreetly shushed Breda, and continued the conversation at a less obviously forced tone.

"Do you know, Havoc? You were in there last."

Hawkeye was pretending not to listen.

"Ahh, it was my fault. I mentioned one of his girlfriends- ex as of last night, apparently. He really liked her and took it hard."

Hawkeye's head was conspicuously lowered into her work and her ears burned red.

"But he has another date for tonight, so he should be back to normal once he gets over my little joke."

Hawkeye stood and without a word left the room.

In her path she left an air of discomfort.

"This is really helping them?" Fuery asked.

No one answered.

* * *

OPERATION DISTRACT SUPERIOR OFFICERS WITH LOVE: PHASE FOUR- EDWARD ELRIC

It was a normal day in the office.

Well, a normal day when the Elrics were in, at least.

Screams were coming from Mustang's office, as usual. But then-

"AND YOU WON'T EVEN ASK HAWKEYE OUT, EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOVE HER."

Edward stopped, panting and basking in the glory of the best insult yet- Mustang had frozen. But his triumph crumbled when Mustang brushed past him.

"Excuse me."

In the outer office, Mustang passed his team without a word, not able to even look at Hawkeye. She was flushed bright red, and after Mustang had left the room, stood up herself.

Hawkeye called over to Edward, her blush just starting to fade. She spoke quietly and with conviction.

"Edward, come here. I think it's time we had a little chat."

Ed paled. Oh, he had done it now. Hawkeye would be so pissed. He got up to his feet and followed the woman out of the room shakily. The rest of the team and Al stared after them and then as one crept out of the room to follow a safe distance away.

Hawkeye opened a medium sized janitorial closet and ducked inside, motioning for Ed to follow. As soon as the door shut, the team pressed their ears up against the door, anxious.

Hawkeye flicked the light on and sighed. Ed looked like a little boy being chastised by his mother, and she hadn't even started speaking yet.

"Edward," she said gently. The people outside the door strained to hear her. "I know you all mean well, but this needs to stop."

"But why?" he asked in a small voice. "We just wanted you two to be happy."

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow at that. "And to get out of some work, I'd imagine." She ignored the surprised yelp from outside the door. "Edward, I know it's hard to understand- sometimes it's even hard for _me _to understand- but we can't be together right now. We might not ever be able to be together."

Ed snapped his head up at that, his eyes filling with horror. "Never?"

"I could be used against him, he could be used against me, it will distract him from his dream, it would hurt even more if one of us were to die," she said, gesturing with her hands to show there were many more reasons. She coughed- her voice was choking up, but she couldn't seem to stop it.

"And the military has its regulations for a reason; everything is safer that way."

Ed just stared at her. His mind was whirling, though: what if he could never be with a woman he loved because of the life he chose? (What if it was Winry? his mind added, but he ignored it, not willing to even think about that level of hurt.)

Hawkeye continued, impatiently wiping a tear from her eye. "I do love him, you know. And he loves me. I'm sure of it. But it's not about me. It's not even about him: it's about Amestris. So for now we have to live like this." She failed to mention the war crimes trials that could separate them forever soon after Roy's ascension to Furher. She had already cried enough.

Ed hung his head. "I can't do anything about this, can I?"

Hawkeye put her hands on his shoulders. "No, but it's okay. I'm okay."

Ed lifted his head and looked staright into Hawkeye's eyes. She was startled by their intensity and dropped her hands from Ed's shoulders.

"How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"Know that he loves you?"

Hawkeye let out a bark of a laugh. "It's in his eyes. It's in the way he speaks. It's in those almost unnoticeable gestures. Someday, you'll understand."

Ed thought of clear blue eyes, anger laced with worry, all-nighters pulled for his sake alone.

"I think," he said slowly, thoughtfully, "I already do."

Hawkeye's eyes shone at Ed, and she patted him on the shoulder. She turned to the door.

"So I hope you remember that, Edward. You too, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Havoc, and Al."

She almost laughed at the shrieks coming from behind the door. A few seconds later, she poked her head out into the hallway and briskly walked back to the office, Ed in tow.

The team was pretending to do work, trying to disguise their rapid breathing and failing. Mustang walked back into the office.

"Sorry about that. Fullmetal, the rest of your report?" he asked.

"I…I left it with Hawkeye!" he said, shooting an apologetic glance at the aforementioned woman.

Mustang couldn't bear to meet her eyes. "That's true, Lieutenant?"

She looked up at him, coaxing him past the awkwardness.

"Yes, sir," his Lieutenant answered. He smiled a little at her, and his worried eyes grew warm.

"Did you ever take that half day, Lieutenant? I thought I told you to leave early on Monday."

Hawkeye kept her face serious. "Well sir, I would, but I have someone to protect."

"Really?" he asked, eyes dancing. "Well, then carry on." Mustang disappeared back into his office.

The team had been staring throughout the little exchange, and they jumped when Hawkeye turned around. She winked at them, and it was all Havoc could do to keep the cigarette from falling out of his mouth.

Then, despite everything, despite all the pain and fear and longing and w_aiting_, Riza Hawkeye did something amazing.

She smiled.


End file.
